What A Best Friend Is, in no particular order

A best friend is:

1. someone who brings out the best in you
2. someone who accepts all your quirks and flaws
3. someone who LIKES all your quirks and flaws
4. a good listener
5. never judgemental
6. someone who gets your humor
7. always there for you, even at 2 in the morning
8. genuinely wanting the best for you
9. someone who doesn't ignore you all summer long
10. someone who knows what you're thinking even before you do
11. always finishing your sentences
12. never going to leave your side
13. that one person you never get tired of being with
14. someone you feel completely comfortable doing nothing with
15. someone who does get jealous of you or your other friends sometimes, but gets over it
16. that person you start to act like a little bit
17. the one whose name your teachers always confuse with yours
18. someone who will email all your favorite youtubers to dedicate a video to you for your birthday
19. the other owner of half your clothes
20. someone who follows you to a catholic high school, even though they can't afford it
21. your lesbian lover
22. that one person your parents would be willing to adopt
23. someone who puts your first 95% of the time
24. someone you CAN and WANT to tell everything to
25. someone to share your water with at lunch. Without worrying about germs.
26. your friend, your lover, your worst enemy, your confidant, your parent, and your teacher all at once

Girls, You Need to Back Off

You know what really, really aggravates me? Girls. They're snarky and whiny and insulting and always start unnecessary drama. I'll admit, I love drama; just not when it's happening to me. But I also don't go out of my way to start it.

Specifically what I'm talking about are these three girls, two of them go to my school (we'll call them Mary and Molly) and one I met at a party (we'll call her Jamie), who all tried to steal my boyfriend, basically.

So, I just started going out with this guy, John. It's been almost two months and I absolutely adore him. All those girls I just mention, were trying to break us up. And it just annoys the crap out of me because you don't do that. No matter how much I liked a guy, I would respect that he's in a relationship and leave him alone. But it's not like it's just one girl out to get me. It's three. Who are all friends with each other. What friends do that?! Blows my mind.

First, it was Mary. She wanted to go out with my best friend, Kayla's, boyfriend, Matt. (so many names, I know. I'm sorry.) Obviously, he said no BECAUSE HE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP. So she goes after my boyfriend and starts asking him to hang out and flirting with him all the time and it's terrible. But my boyfriend, being the awesome and loyal guy that he is, tells her to back off. This was week 1 of our relationship.

 Then we go to his friend's sweet 16 and this girl Jamie is there. Before I even met her, he warned me that she had a crush on him, but he had no feelings for her whatsoever. Fine. So she came over to talk to John and me one time, but didn't even look at me, even when I was talking to her. She was totally focused on him. Fine, okay, whatever. I don't think anything of it until that night when she puts a truth is on his wall saying something like:

"truthh iss, you are soo amazinngg and im soo happy weree friendsss :))) youvee been theree for me througgh everyythingg andd i can'tt thannk youu enoughh. yourr my bestt friennd and i lovee youu <3 <3"

Even that, fine. She has a crush on him, I know that. BUT THEN  they get into, like, a heart battle in the comments and all his friends are telling Jamie (and John for that matter) that he has a girlfriend, she needs to back off, etc. And she's saying she's not doing anything wrong, blah blah blah. Eventually I tell John that's not okay, and she needs to back off and that heart battle was totally inappropriate. He apologizes profusely and deletes the whole post and sends her a message nicely telling her that she needs to stop. That was week 2.

A month into our relationship, this other girl Molly tells Matt (John's best friend) that she missed her chance when John was single, so she's going to break us up for another one. Her direct quote "I'm going to break them up." By this point, John already earned my trust and again, he told her to back off and that he doesn't want to date her.

Doesn't that seem like pointless drama to you? Why can't I just have a fun, normal relationship without having to deal with all these girls trying to break us up? It's not like there's only taken guys in the world. It may seem that way, but that's because girls want what they can't have. Like when you're playing in the sandbox: you don't want that pale and shovel sitting in the corner. That pale and shovel is stupid, all plastic and boring with no one playing with it. Then the minute another kids starts playing with it, all of a sudden you just have to have it. Pisses. Me. Off. I brought my own toys to that sand box, gosh darnnit.

But yeah, I made this blog to rant, and there it is ^^ enjoy.

Best Friend- A Poem

Oh geez...it's been almost two months since I've posted on here. Sorry...I don't really have a good excuse. But to make it up to you, here's a poem I wrote a few months ago. It's called Best Friend (not actually about my best friend. Ironically, I hate the person I wrote this about now)

Best Friend

Remember when we talked all the time?
When we told our stupid jokes and spoke in rhyme?
The laughs we shared and all the good times we had,
Even the ones that got really bad?

At one point I was your number one,
Your go to girl whenever life wasn't fun.

I'd pick you up and say everything's okay,
Then cry on the phone,
To make you feel not so alone.

I'd laugh at your jokes and like your posts,
Cuz I didn't wanna put you down,
And I knew what a great friend I had found.

I loved you more than I could ever say,
But maybe, just not in that way.

You were my secret, and I was yours.
At lunch I couldn't stand you, the actor I'm sure.
But once school let out and no one could see,
Your laugh rang through my ears,
And I felt your pain times three.

Those were the good times,
When our secret was what your treasured most.
But good things never did last long,
And soon our relationship was toast.

My conscience spoke for me,
With words I didn't like.
It said "I can't do this anymore,"
It's friends we must be.

Now I get to hear of all those other girls,
Genna, Erin, Taylor, Marie.

I hate those names and I hate those faces,
But most of all, I really hate me.
And yeah, I know shit happens,
But not with you, best friend forever.

Why Do I Write?

  I write because I love the feel of a pen in my hand;
The way it scratches against paper, smooth and fine,
And those small smudges left behind.
I feel powerful when I write;
To create a world and build it and mold it,
Only to destroy it and make another one tomorrow.

I write because of the nagging in the back of my brain,
When you can see that image crystal clear,
And you know you have to bring it to life.
Or that phrase you keep repeating,
Over and over again.
I feel like that's the beginning of something great.

I write because it's the only way I know how.
It's the only way to express myself,
And those thoughts and those dreams that run through my mind.
My stories are the words I could never say,
The things I've never done,
And the people I want to be.

I write because I'm in pain,
Because sometimes reality just isn't fun.
So I know that it's real and people see my truth,
To embrace it or hate it or fight it.
When I have no one to go to and no one to understand,
I figure I might reach one person wo can.

I write to be inspired,
By something new, or fresh, or innovating.
I want my imagination to shine through the pages,
To create something real that makes you say "wow."
How many times I've said that in my life,
Hoping I could do that one day.

I write for that rush,
Of hitting your stride and writing pages at a time.
When the ideas just come to you like an oncoming wave,
And your frustration acclimates because you can't write them all.
I write for those reasons, every single day.
But mostly, I write because I can.

Texting Etiquette

Some basic rules for anyone who texts on a regular basis:

1. If you don't want to talk to someone JUST DON'T ANSWER.

2. Don't just stop replying in the middle of a conversation, unless you're doing something in which you have to stop. This can make the other person feel like they're boring or annoying. And even if they are, well, it'll still make them feel bad.

3. It's rude to text someone and not put any effort into the conversation. You're the one that wanted to talk; there had to have been a reason.

4. One word answers suck. They very worst thing you can say is "yeah," "k," and "cool."

5. Try not to take forever to answer back. Even two minutes in real time can feel like two hours in text time. If you know you're in the middle of a conversation with someone, just take your phone with you wherever you go, and if you can't talk, say that before you leave.

6. Emoticons are very important when you're being sarcastic, just so there's no confusion.

7. Spell words right and use proper grammar. Shortening some words like "tho" and "u" is fine, but take the time to fix actually misspellings and make sure people can understand what you type.

Slightly Demented Short Paragraph Thing?

Just a short paragraph thing I wrote since it's been a while since I've posted anything. It's a little dark, but I'm proud of it.

He ran to the street, his footsteps pounding heavily against the charcoal pave way. His arms were pumping hard and his shirt tail was whipping wildly behind him. With each step the distance increased between us. No matter how fast I ran, he was faster. I tried to cry out, but I stumbled and scraped my hands raw. That's when I heard the sound of the truck coming our way.

            Watch out, I cried. Come back. But he kept running. He didn't want to stop. I tried to get to my feet, the panic it my gut quickly rising. I only made it a few steps before I heard the gut wrenching snap of bones. The horrible squeal of eight tires trying to stop. The crunch of his body six seconds later when he landed forty feet from where he stood moments ago.

            ALEX! ALEX! I dropped to my knees, letting out a terrible, shrill screeching sound. I kept trying to call his name but I was choking on my own sobs. My hands were raking my hair and tearing at my skull. I rocked back and forth, covering myself with mud, dirt, tears, blood.

            I saw him right before that truck hit him. I will never be able to get the image of the cold fear in his eyes out of my head. He went pale, like a snowflake. His feet tried to stop, to turn back. But it was too late. His hands reached out in front of him, as if he could stop the truck. Then it was like he folded in on himself. Flying through the air he was as limp as a rag doll; as alive as a rag doll.

            I just sat there, rocking and sobbing, calling out a name to a guy who would never hear me. I don't know how long I was there, but I didn't think I could ever leave. Not really.

Slow Down A Second

I was in a solemn mood today, so I went outside and watched the sunset until it was dark. And I have to say, it was really something.

Everything was tinted orange and the sky was blazing with four different colors. The clouds were drifting lazily away from me and I could hear the crickets humming all around me. The temperature was perfect- not too hot, not too cold-and the air smelled like fire. I'm guessing someone was having a bonfire or something.

It was nice to find the time to just sit and watch the sky change and listen to nature. The last time I remember watching the sunset was a few years back when I was in peewee soccer, so I wasn't even outside by choice. I remember looking at the burnt orange sky, so alive, like nothing I've ever seen before, and I turned to my coach and told her that it looked like Hell was taking over Heaven. She looked at me like I was the dumbest and craziest kid she's ever seen.

Maybe I was.

It just made me think of how I never took time to appreciate the small things. The sunset was short- like ten minutes really, and I never even noticed it before.

I'm sure you've heard the expression "take time to smell the roses" or whatever it is. I never liked that saying. I thought that whoever made the expression should mind his/her own business, and if people didn't have time then smelling roses wasn't worth being late. But now, I don't know. What if it was worth it?

I feel like I'm the definition of a conformist. Always wanting to blend in, fly under the radar, do exactly what society wanted. Who cares about nature? You better know the top ten on Q102. Everybody acted like that for a reason. They weren't called weird, or an outcast, or a loser. For some reason, that's what works. I think I just think too much.

I'm off topic. For whoever reads this: tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, I want you to watch the sunset. Put down the papers, step away from the computer, pause the xbox, and just take ten minutes of your day and see if it's worth it.